Bandwagoning The Big Names: (I Don’t Like) Dustin Johnson

Let’s get one thing straight: I can’t stand Dustin Johnson.

As a matter of fact, I refer to him only as Douchebag Johnson.

Is he a talented golfer? Sure. The Open was his to lose, and even with his blunder on the 18th, he still put on one hell of a show.

But one of my favorite things about golf has always been the ability to like (or dislike) the players for who they are off the course. With such an individual game, much of the focus for fans extends beyond golf skills.

Further, unlike other sports, it’s rare to have a prodigy like Tiger who people adore based on dominance and skill. We EXPECT golfers to shoot under par, to make birdies. There’s usually something else about the athlete that draws us in or turns us off.

And I have no shortage of reasons to dislike Johnson.

Firstly, the cocaine usage. He was suspended last year for failing a third drug test, though the PGA denies a suspension was issued. The time off was called a leave of absence to “seek professional help for personal challenges” on the official record.

Obviously coke isn’t considered a performance-enhancing drug. But the character flaws needed to imbibe as much as he allegedly does are enough to make me question why anyone would choose to spend time with him.

giphy 1But his fiancee (and baby’s mother) isn’t just anyone. She’s Paulina Gretzky, the Great One’s gorgeous daughter.

Speaking of Paulina, you’d think coming home to her every night would be enough for most men, but apparently not. Taking a note from Tiger, DJ started playing the field- with “at least one wife of a PGA Tour player.

This man wins hundreds of thousands of dollars most weeks, snorts it, knocks up his fiancee, and then sticks it to the wife (or wives) of a COWORKER(S).

Who DOES that? A sociopath.

To play devil’s advocate, none of these stories have been confirmed by Johnson himself. But none of them have been denied either (aside from push-back on the word “suspension,” as Dustin’s story remains in line with the official statement released by the PGA).

I realize that even celebrities and pro athletes are allowed to have personal lives and even to make mistakes, but this far transcends a simple indiscretion. This dude has repeatedly battled these demons and yet falls back to the drug instead of publicly admitting his has an issue and entering rehab. More sympathy is had for those who help themselves.

As for cheating on Paulina, there is no excuse. Tiger, who has a sex addiction for which he’s sought help, is still the scum of the earth in my opinion, but at least he bought himself hookers and not OTHER PEOPLE’S WIVES (and before you start prattling on about his affair with Amanda Boyd – formerly Amanda Dufner – it’s since been reported that Jason Dufner and Tiger planted that story THEMSELVES to see how far it would get. It’s completely untrue, and also hilarious).giphy

This is like being a Cubs fan – no matter who they’re playing, I will always root against the St. Louis Cardinals. As a Bears fan, I will always root against the Green Bay Packers. As a fan of fidelity and the civility of golf, I will always root against Dustin Johnson.

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One thought on “Bandwagoning The Big Names: (I Don’t Like) Dustin Johnson

  1. I agree 100%. He is so annoying – boring – homely. Find it hard to believe any woman wld look at him – he deserves Paulina- she’s a mess too!


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