Bandwagoning The Big Bucks: Powerball, Golf Edition

I’m slightly embarrassed to say that I dropped $20 on Powerball tickets.

I’ve never played the lottery (outside of the occasional scratch-off ticket…though nothing I’ve ever had to check the nightly news for). But the hype about the Powerball reaching $700 million was too loud to ignore, so I caved and did it.

I contributed $20 to someone else’s lucky day. Here, take some free money. That’s essentially what that $20 was – a contribution to someone who’s going to have ALL THE MONEY.

Now, we’re looking at an even higher prize of $1.5 billion, so people are fantasizing about what they’d do with the cash after taxes and Mark Cuban doling out financial advice to the eventual winner. I know EXACTLY what I’d do with the winnings:

  • Debt. Get rid of it. Mine, my family’s, my friends’. I’d make it rain all over those student loans, y’all.
  • Set myself up for success. House, car, life insurance plan.
  • Invest. Give me like $50 million to play with after all the initial expenditures and put the rest into savings and investments.
  • Charity. This is the big one. I would start by buying at least a year’s worth of food and supplies for every homeless shelter in Chicago. Then, I would buy a tract of land, build a nice house, and convert it into a no-kill humane society and adopt as many dogs as legally possible from kill shelters. I’d staff it with people from those homeless shelters who legitimately want a new start – and they could even live on the property rent-free.
  • The fun stuff. Then I’d get some of the dream purchases out of the way. Season tickets to the Cubs. Tickets to the Masters. Tickets to the Olympics. Buy a golf course. Pay the Spice Girls to do a reunion concert for my birthday.

But then, last night during #golfchat, a fellow chatter asked what I would do with the money if I could ONLY spend it on golf-related things.

Let’s see….

  • Play every course on the Top 100 list.
  • Take lessons from Butch Harmon…preferably while Rickie Fowler is in the practice facility.
  • Invest in Puma Golf and Cobra. I would have a closet devoted entirely to Puma shoes (although I’m pretty close to that as it is).
  • Work with Arnie or another course designer to help conceptualize a new course.
  • Go to a PGA/LPGA tournament every week for an entire year, including all the majors.
  • Donate $100,000 to each of my favorite golfers’ charities – Jordan has the Jordan Spieth Family Foundation, Adam Scott has the Adam Scott Foundation, etc.
  • Fund the First Tee for a year.
  • Buy a home in Florida so I can have a legit chance at my dream job – working for the PGA.

In the process of writing this, I’ve managed to convince myself to buy another ticket.

giphy

To the person who wins the Powerball and disappoints an entire country worth of WHY NOT ME? dreamers….you’re welcome.


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